Evan’s death was torture for me. But I have healed. I have gone back to places where I went with Evan. Appreciated what he enjoyed like certain music, food, movies, books. I’ve sat on the very spot where Evan took his life. Sitting in that cold darkness of cement, earth, and wood. Day in and day out for years, I was obsessed with reading books and watching videos on the subjects of Near Death Experience, remote viewing, Schumann resonances, quantum mechanics, and practicing how to astral project. All in hope of seeing him again.
Death is not the end. Does the caterpillar ever die when it turns into a butterfly? I will see Evan again. The reason I know this is because something extraordinary happened to me one night. I was sleeping and had a strange dream of being watched. Seeing a single eye of someone hidden staring at me. I felt fearful, knowing that the person was coming closer to me. Without looking, I put my hand up and felt a taut stomach and heard a voice, ‘You told me to come.‘ I immediately jolted awake from my sleep to see an outline of Evan in the darkness standing beside me near the foot of my bed. I wasn’t scared at all. I knew it to be him. I felt it to my very core. I communicated telepathically with him, ‘Evan, I can see you!‘ my mind said. I could see Evan moving in front of me. He was a faint blue shadow and his body gesture was that of amazement as if to say: you can see me?! He slumped down and sat with his hands on his knees and then he laid next to me. I cried with happiness and we communicated with our thoughts until I had to turn on the light to use the restroom. When I came back, he was gone.
This is the strongest proof that Evan has given me that he still exists where I wasn’t dreaming but was awake. I do not fear death.
Dreams I had asleep when I was devastated over Evan’s death.
1.) When I was looking for Evan, I saw words written on a wall: ‘Was embodied‘. Later, I took it to mean Evan relaying that he was embodied when he was alive. In the dictionary, the word ‘embody‘ means giving a body to a soul.
2.) In another dream, I was staring at a computer monitor and all of a sudden Evan’s old screenname kept popping up everywhere in different IM windows. I typed back ‘Hi‘ then woke up.
3.) I begged a lady in my dream to tell me where Evan was and she replied that she couldn’t ‘happily’ tell me where he was at.
We will see our loved ones who have passed on again.